Community Connection Help us help you.

We need experts in ALL fields. We ALL need to work together to help our community stand as a people! Every one of us has a skill, and particular knowledge. When particles are put together, you get something bigger, and more cohesive, right? To form a stable foundation, one need wisdom and expertise. If you are in charge of developing action plans, we need your expertise. We need homes. We need food. We need work. We need projects to help maintain a healthy base population to protect people from needless suffering, IN OUR OWN COUNTRY! Don't wait for our taxes to go to work. The government is not oppressing us, WE ARE. USA is OURS! WE THE PEOPLE... Right? If ONE DAY GOES BY, and some old man is shivering in the streets, who has fought for the safety of our land, WHO THE HELL ARE WE? When you blame the government, you are diverting your attention from the truth. REMEMBER THE REVOLUTION? We The People FORMED A UNION! Our forefathers and foremothers DELIVERED US. They were what we used to be. WE THE PEOPLE. That's you and me. We owe them our lives, our dedication, to REMEMBER WHERE WE CAME FROM! We all had villages, where we came from. Every single one of us. What are we missing, that made it so successful that our ancestry DIED FOR? The community of family, a neighborhood who cared, and looked out for one another. Used to be, our ancestors all ate together. We all worked different aspects of keeping our society thriving, yes? It seems that many people forget that their food comes from the earth. IF WE DESTROY THE LAND, we will STARVE TO DEATH. We have understanding of how food is prepared, and we know we have families who are in dire need of food. We donate BOUGHT FOOD. FUEL FOR CORPORATE AMERICA. I am seeking people to invest in the protection of the future of our country, to introduce a Sustainability Department, in charge of pruducing the basic necessities for our country. This will allow our future to develop peacefully from within using the gifts that God gave us. Tilling the soils God prepared for us, and maintaining the honor of dominion gifted us, again, by God. Again, we need EXPERTS IN THEIR FIELD. Reply to this CALL TO ACTION! ALL DONATIONS AND INVESTMENTS go to the development of this plan for our communities to be self reliant. Donate as much as you can, as much money, time, sweat, toil, blood, courage, knowledge, courtesy, love and devotion. "YES WE CAN!"

Community Help

There are many people and organizations who will help us dads, though. We are not totally alone. Food pantries, churches and some government programs are there to help us. Ask your case worker (DFS) about organizations that are in your area to assist you. BE POLITE NO MATTER HOW UPSET YOU ARE!!! NO ONE IS REQUIRED TO HELP YOU!!!

You must take the reigns up for your own needs. Don't expect sympathy. Father's Rights and Resource Network can help direct you to the resources you need. We are here to help. We have been through what you are going through. We have been where you are right now. Ask, and ye shall receive. Be aware that we only help those who help themselves. We don't do it for you.

Your children need you. It is not their fault. Whatever it is. IT IS NOT THEIR FAULT. Do not bad mouth their mother in front of them. Do not talk about the court cases and problems you are having. Be supportive for them when they are stressed out. THE CHILDREN ARE STRESSED TOO.

Churches have programs and people you can talk to. When you get frustrated, call a church. Tell them what's going on, ask if they have a program where your kids can play while you vent to a priest, or psychologist. 

Hospitals have lists of programs to help you deal with life in every aspect. Call the switchboard and explain what is going on. They are able to direct you as well.

Legal Services of Eastern Missouri can advise you on how to proceed with legal matters (They may charge you $30 if you don't have a job, more if you do. It is based on a sliding scale.) 

We can help you on more specific matters. Just contact us and tell us your story.

Dads are people too.

Dads are people too. Single dads need as much help raising their children as single mothers do. Some may say they need more help (at least in Missouri - a strong women's rights state). The image of a father is often tainted by the father's who leave the relationship and are then required to pay child support, and sometimes don't. The myth is that there are TONS of "dead beat dad's" out there. The truth is there are just as many "dead beat mom's" out there.

When a father leaves a marriage or relationship, the mother can ask the state to pursue child support. There are fathers who live with the mother and children, and are still required to pay child support. All the mother needs to do, is go to the state and ask allege that the father is not supporting his children. The state will pursue the father and ask no questions. The father will have to obtain a lawyer, go to court (a multitude of times), pay court costs, and provide overwhelming proof (if the mother is adamant that the father is a deadbeat)  that he supports the children.

If you are supporting your children, and mom says you are not, keep EVERY receipt for ANYTHING you buy for your children, DO NOT GIVE CASH WITHOUT A RECEIPT. Communicate with mom via email so a trail is left that is admissible in court. Write letters (and photo copy them), send certified letters through the USPS, video tape difficult custody exchanges and have witnesses write statement for the judge to review.

Hope for the best, sure, but expect a lengthy court trial to keep your rights as a father. If you do not have overwhelming evidence to the contrary of mother's allegations, you will most likely lose your children, and be required to pay child support, and have only visitations (if not supervised) with your children.

This is a heartbreaking situation that is prevalent nowadays. The Division of Family Services is funded on the number of cases it oversees. The number of cases is increased by the requirement that mothers who are on state aid must name the last known location of the father. Mother's are happy to do this since they get a paycheck when they do. Food stamps, Temporary Assistance For Needy Families (cash on food stamp card), and child support.

As a father who has equal custody of my children with their mother, I was still required to pay child support. I was actually providing MORE than 50% of the children's monetary care. The children were with me at least 50% of the time. Still, I was required to fight through the system to prove that I should not pay child support.

To add insult to injury, when mother is adamant that father is deadbeat, there are FALSE statistics to prove she is among a majority group of mothers who's ex is not paying child support. She can say outright lies, and everyone believes her because these bogus statistics support her claim. Even when father is proven not to be a deadbeat, when leaving the court room, angry glares from other mothers and people and murmurs of "PIG!", "DEADBEAT", usher forth from frothy mouths.

GET REAL! Father's are persecuted. Add to that single father's who are struggling to support themselves and their children when the government says "You are a man, get a job, we have no support system for slackers like you!" yet the mother right behind you, in the same predicament, will get several thousand dollars a year to help, maybe even her bills and rent paid, and an educational pell grant and daycare.

The system is broke. We must stand up for our rights as fathers.

I do not condone spanking your child

If you scroll down on this blog, I have included an article on how to incorporate non abusive spanking in child discipline. I want to explain why I included this in my blog. If you spank your child/ren and leave a bruise (a red mark), you are, by law, abusing your child. This is a hotly debated topic, but we cannot bypass the laws of the land. If you disagree,  you must collect thousands of signatures and bring it to the government and ask that the law be changed.

By Missouri law (and many other states, I'm sure), if you leave a bruise, it IS abuse. You WILL be charged with abuse. You have a strong possibility of LOSING your children. If your child bumps into a table and it LOOKS like you struck your child, and someone hotlines you, it will most likely be construed as abuse or neglect.

This may infuriate many people on both sides of the issue. Strong opponents of spanking think that spanking a child will leave lasting emotional scars on the child, and supporters claim that it will leave a lasting impression that will dissuade the child from the behavior that was disciplined.

Keep this in mind when debating the issue of spanking your child. 

DO NOT EVER SPANK ANYONE ELSE'S CHILD.

Greetings again. I have been busy with the holidays, which went very well. Of course the kiddo's made out like bandits. Only, I did not have enough to really make ends meet. I could have merely made do, which sometimes we must all do. I asked for help. This has been a rough year for my kids because of legal issues between mom and me. I prayed for help, and asked the property manager if she knew of any food pantries in the area. She told me about a couple programs she knew of, and I got on the computer and looked them up. I got the numbers, called them, and got signed up. These programs are designed for people who need a little extra help to make it through. 

First, I had to go to the food pantry office, with my bills, social security cards for everyone in the household, drivers (or state ID) license, and all our receipts for the last month. They recorded the amounts I earned and spent, and then created a budget sheet (you can do this on your own to help finances straighten out, more on that later.). 

I asked them about the programs I had heard of, and they had me sign up for them. One was provided by a local church, and they sponsor a certain number of families each Christmas, and their members purchase gifts for them. The other one, from another local church was a gift lottery for families whose income is below poverty level. (go to this website to find out poverty levels: http://www.census.gov/hhes/www/poverty/threshld/thresh07.html )

(We ended up getting, maybe, $125 in gift cards, clothes for everybody, toys for everybody, and books. The amount of gift allowed us to save our money for specific gifts, or bills or food or anything else that we needed.)

The food pantry then sent us next door with a ticket to receive a donation of food. They sent us on our way with bread, milk, chicken, ground beef, vegetables, soups, noodles, rice, peanut butter, jelly, snacks, fruit, and other goodies to last the month. 

There is hope for us when we humble ourselves and ask for help. Some need to wait until it is too late, and everything crumbles around them before asking for help. Some know just when and who to ask for help. Some ask for help when they really don't need it. I say turn an obstacle into an opportunity. Share a part of yourself when asking for help. Make a fair trade. Barter... Do something for your neighbors. Let that good deed laid upon you snowball into something wonderful for everyone in your life.

I am able to go back once a month to the pantry to receive food. They have other programs and job opportunities posted on their walls in the lobby, and they are usually very knowledgeable about ways to receive other realms of help. This is a first step to take when searching for help on the holidays. 

A word of advice, start looking for help at least three months before the holidays. If you have a birthday coming up, again, ask for help early. There are people out there helping with many different things, so ask around, and build yourself a "Help Sheet" for the people, churches, and businesses in your specific area. Write down name of service, number, address, person to talk to, and type of help offered. This will make it easier for you to keep track.

Feel free to comment if you have other suggestions, or questions. I will take the time to answer as many questions as I can. If I have not answered your question yet, I will get to it as I can. Keep checking to see if I have gotten to it yet.

sustainablity

“Sustainability. What a beauty. The Tila2704 link underneath is incredible. All of the sites underneath will give you a new perspective on sustainability, and socio/bio/economic conservation. Alternative fuel and bio systems recycling is the name of the game. A company would have to invest a chunk of money to build this system, but the long term effect of it would enable the company to reduce it's carbon footprint, waste and dependance on foreign oil. What are we doing to ourselves? What if the oil in the Earth is techtonic plate lubrication, no wonder there have been unusually large number of huge earthquakes. We are all complaining that we are paying too much for gasoline, and that terrorists are prevalent in these oil countries. STOP USING GASOLINE AND WE STOP FUNDING TERRORISM!!! They will go broke. We will use the oil companies to make bio diesel and ethanol, at the same time, we will increase the growth of corn, and the green house gasses will be reused to feed the plants in real greenhouses. Byproducts will recycle byproduct which will be recycled by products that have been recycled so that we can continue to recycle these byproducts.”

http://www.storyofstuff.com/index.html

http://www.moreenergy.org/

http://aqua.ucdavis.edu/dbweb/outreach/aqua/TILA2704.PDF

Non custodial father

Nor are things as they are portrayed. When a photographer takes a picture of a person they find the "right" light, look, side, and makeup. What was completely true is now a beautiful lie. Our society has been believing every word of the news they see on TV. Hey, if it's on the news, it's gotta be true. But wait, how many times does a parent explain to their child "What you see on TV is not real"? The news is a franchise, sex sells, violence sells, lies sell. Have you seen these "reality shows"? there is nothing real about them except they ALL get paid.

A father who wants to be in his kids lives is truth. If he is a non-custodial parent, he will most likely be in store for a rough legal battle if things go sour with visitation, and he wants justice - him against the mother, mothers attorney, state, the children's Guardian Ad Litum (GAL), the deputy juvenile officer (DJO), the DJO's attorney, and the children's division. 

The father will sit at a table with his lawyer (if he can afford one), and look over to his right and see two tables with seven people glaring at him. Then theres the judge who is supposed to be impartial, but if mom accuses father of spanking the children too hard, good by children. Mother is granted custody, father is granted monitored visitation at a neutral location, and child support is ordered, counseling, therapy, parenting classes, all to rehabilitate the "dead beat dad" who just wanted to be more in his children's lives.

There are dead beat dads, don't get me wrong, but there are just as many dead beat moms. The children get stuck in these politics and suffer from depression, confusion, low self esteem, suicidal tendencies, early pregnancy, drugs and low grades or drop outs in school.

The children's division benefits from this because each father (even he who is erroneously labeled "dead beat dad") is now a statistic that can be used for increased funding next year, when funding is increased, there are pay raises, when there are pay raises, people at the top can buy another boat. Meanwhile, dad loses everything he worked so hard to get; his check is less, so now he can't afford rent, utilities, food and gas for his car. However, mom is just fine as she cashes that check on a convenient credit card look alike, and pays for a new acrylic set of nails and a $75 haircut before taking the kids to McDonalds so she can chat with her new boyfriend on the cell phone without the kids bothering her.

This is real. There are many people who see a father with his kids that say; "Oh, I wish more fathers were like that!" Most fathers ARE like that. And we're falling through the cracks. A bad apple ruins the whole bushel? What about the rest of the bushel? Tossed out with no concern? 

What are we to do?